We are the Champions!!!

Ok, kids, here comes another post coming at ya from work so I have to keep it short. If you are reading this at home, I recommend you put Metallica’s Hero of the Day as background music to set the mood.

What What In The Butt remained undefeated last night, clinching the Ruby League Cup, and achieving immortality as the greatest Kickball team in the history of Green Bay in 2010. Woo Hoo!!!

We played, by far, our most challenging opponent last night. The ensuing battle can only be described as LEGENDARY. We gained a quick three run advantage and then basically clinged on to it for the duration of the game.

And like I previously alluded to, it all came down to the coaching. Knowing three runs would not be sufficient, I coached Matt Pearson in the fifth inning to make this spectacular jump, doing the splits in mid-air, to narrowly escape a throw at home plate. That run was the deciding factor that eventually won the game for us.

I’d like to give a special shout out to Greg Altmann for calling up Matt earlier this season to invite him on our team. Matt would eventually become the MVP during the post season. Way to go, Greg!!!

I also coached my players to catch various pop fly catches in the infield and outfield as well as coached our pitcher, Ben Zimmerman, to throw various strike outs throughout the game. Whenever a player got a base hit, I coached that too. There were flashes of Lombardi out there, I’m not lying.

Unfortunately my actual play was sporadic at best and I missed an easy catch at first base that set the opposing team up for a two run comeback in the last inning. But we prevailed, making bitter enemies with the opposing team in the process, but nuts to them, we wanted it more and that’s to be expected when you self umpire your own championship game.

I’d like to give special thanks to Jessica MacGregor, Nicole Denis, Renee Heraly, Karin Adams, Jamie Baierl, Greg Altmann, Ben Zimmerman, Matt Pearson, Blake Main, Jenny MacGregor, Beth Bartolazzi, Maria Cornette, Brad and Martha Johnson, and everyone else that subbed or came out support the team. Same time next year.

What!? What!?



Team photo post victory. I brought Champagne but having never won a team athletic competition in my life, did not know what to do with it. Apparently you shake it up and spray it on everyone in a celebratory fashion.



Also, not to distract from our glorious victory, but look at this goofy sign put up in front of the new roundabout near my work in Appleton. Who were the wizards at the WDOT that came up with this clear and decisive traffic directive???

Brett Favre: Pervert or just a kid showin' off some dick tricks?

I am at work right now and do not have a lot of time to blog but I just feel it is of the utmost importance to define my stance on the current Brett Favre situation.

For those of you living underneath a rock, the mainstream media has recently picked up a story from Deadspin.com regarding a certain legendary quarterback sending racy text messages and pics to a sideline reporter during said legendary quarterback’s brief stint in New York. My gut reaction was that ESPN was merely using the story to boost ratings for tonights Monday Night Football match up. I figured if the story had real teeth, the media would have jumped on it a long time ago.

But now the NFL is investigating Brett Favre’s conduct and he himself has twice acknowledged the story but refused to comment on it. This non-denial is sort of an admission of guilt in my opinion. Also, the images and sound bites on deadspin are pretty incriminating.

But then it suddenly dawned on me the most plausible scenario. Like Occam’s Razor, it is the simplest answer and therefore the most likely to be correct.

Brett Favre was showing off some dick tricks.

There. You heard it here first. First, it is a common fact that ALL women love a good dick trick and Brett Favre was new to the area so he probably wanted to showcase his other talents in order to build commaderie with the Jets organization. Second, the deadspin article only featured photograph stills, for all we know Brett Favre may have been about to show off “the brain”, “the bulldog”, or possibly “the hamburger”. Third, it explains the non-denial. Because our puritanical society will not allow open, public expression for our universal fondness for genital origami, he was forced to hide rather than embrace the current situation.

I hope you all keep an open mind on this subject going forward. I realize there is small chance that Brett Favre might actually be a perverted old man and is guilty of reckless sexual harassment but the guy also won a Super Bowl for us for God’s sake. Let’s all pretend he was showing off a reverse “windmill” and call it a day, shall we?