Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Hotel Hell, We Hardly Knew Ye


When I first heard the news today that Hotel Hell was demolished, I was livid.  What are they going to demolish next?  Hidden Valley Park?  That spot behind the airport where the planes fly in?  Krolls?  Kids have to smoke doobies somewhere, ya know.

But then Jess cleared up the misinformation campaign against Hotel Hell.  Apparently the storm last night knocked over some trees, which in turn caved in the structure .  That makes a lot more sense given the cursed nature of the property and because there was a huge ass storm last night.  I bet that place is even scarier now.  That actually makes me happier.

I remember the first time going out to Hotel Hell.  It was the middle of winter in the middle of night.  We were standing in a circle outside the hotel chain smoking cigarettes.

You go in first.   No, you go in first.   I’m not going in there.  Just do it, you pussy.   You’re a pussy.  Fine, let’s go in together.  But you got to lead and go in first. You go in first. 

This went on for like 30 minutes.  Then all of a sudden Dingeldein pokes his head up and waves to us from the 2nd floor with a big shit-eating grin.  Hey guys!  Classic Dingeldein.  Classic brave dumb Dingeldein.

Of course we all had to go in after that and that truly was spooky and not smart.  There were loose boards all over the place.  No one wanted to fall in the basement where everyone knows they used to host satanic rituals.  There could be no other explanation as to why the hotel burned down.  None.

I miss high school when that shit used to be so fun.  Driving out to some dumb place just to hang out all night used to be so adventurous.  Now if someone asked me to drive out to Manitowoc to look at a haunted house, I’d say no thanks, I got better things to do.  The Brewers are down 0-7 in the third but I’m going to stay on the couch and see how this plays out. 

Maybe I’ll go out there and check out the damage of for old times sake.  I’ll reattempt to find that pack of Marlboros that Kyle dropped in the woods that one time when the cops busted us.  We drove back there the next day to fetch them but we had no luck.  Gas was $.94 a gallon.
 

 Here is the before picture, still creepy as ever.
 And what remains of this once hallowed high school institution.