The Roommate of Emily Rose

I want to know the story of Emily Rose’s college roommate.

You thought your roommate was bad. Seriously, just imagine the stories this girl came home with on that first Thanksgiving freshmen year. I think it would go a little something like this:

“Omigod, my roommate is such a bitch. I was listening to my Britney Spears CD and she was like, could you turn that down, and I was like, whatever. Can you believe that!? What a slut!”

“Yeah, I kinda know what you mean. My roommate sometimes wakes up at three in the morning and gets all contortled on the ground and starts screeching in 2000 year old dead languages. Normally, I wouldn’t mind but I have class at 8 in the morning.”

And what’s the deal with this boyfriend guy she has? This guy was SO lonely, he had to resort to the possessed girl down the hall? Did he lose a bet or something? I mean I’ve been alone on a Saturday night before but C’Mon! On the bright side, your women problems pale in comparison to this dude.

“Hey man, did you get in a fight or something?”

“Yeah, sort of, my girlfriend tried scratching my eyes out again. I guess I deserve it though, I mean I DID try to stop her from eating those cockroaches in her room. She hates that. But it could have been worse, it’s not like she has fingernails, right?”

Exorcism’s rock. They’re almost as cool as zombies.