... and THAT was the most drunk I ever got on Christmas.

Every story should somehow end up on that note.

Before I get into the tomfoolery that transpired over Christmas break, I would just like to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and a Merry New Year. I’d especially like to thank my friend Cody Langeness for being a good sport about last week’s interview. I don’t think he had any idea of what he was getting himself into and the portrait I painted of him kind of made him out to be a huge asshole when in real life, he’s just kind of an asshole. Thanks again, Cody.

Back to Christmas Day, it was a particularly exciting Christmas because I happened to come across a box seat ticket on the 50-yard line for my beloved Packers. I thought the Pack had a reasonable shot at trouncing the Bears until I received a bad omen when I couldn’t fit into my favorite Packer shirt from high school before going to the game. For that reason, I take sole responsibility for last Sunday’s loss.

No, check that, I blame McDonald’s damn dollar menu for last Sunday’s loss. It’s tough to be bitter at those magnificent bastards though. Their introduction of the double cheeseburger (or DCB’s as we affectionately referred to them) to the dollar menu was the greatest innovation to the college food budget since ramen noodles and the 7 Palmero Pizzas for 10 bucks deal at Woodmans.

So anyway, my spirits quickly lifted when I got to the box and found a wide assortment of top shelf booze at my disposal. Free Tanqueray and Grey Goose on Christmas!? I must have been a good boy this year.

I had to restrain myself for most of the game since my boss and his wife were also in attendance, but he left at the start of the fourth quarter which was gametime for me. There was still a lot of drinking to be done and the Bears were making it especially difficult by trying to run out the clock. I started drinking ravenously. It’s impossible for me to enjoy free shit in moderation.

The rest of the night is somewhat of a blur but I do know that I passed out roughly around 9:30 and that my brother was the one who saved me as I was wandering aimlessly down Holmgren Way. Thanks, Joey.

I’m always trying to explore new ways to exploit my blog and in writing this, I found a new one: a public forum for day after drunken apologies. No more “Sorry about last nite, 2 much 2 drink :(” text messages for me. Apologetic blog posts are the way of the future.

Sorry, patrons of Stadium View Bar. I am painfully aware of my lack of dancing skills and had no intention of thrusting them upon you last night. You have complete authority to knock my ass out if I attempt another stunt like that again.

Better yet, you could put a temporary hold on Pour Some Sugar on Me the next I come in. That would really help me out a lot.