Student. Intern. Drunk.
C_ is all of these and more. This former T.Wall Properties Intern and Real Estate Club President will be finishing up his Real Estate and Finance Degree from the University of Wisconsin-Madison this Spring. An impressive career to say the least. I was able to track down this rising superstar to see what makes his larger than life personality tick. Below are the contents of our interaction:
C_, you’ve just completed a coveted internship with Principal Financial, one of Fortune Magazine’s most admired and respected companies to work for in the country. I think the question everyone is dying to know, what is the tail like down there in Des Moines?
It’s okay, I guess. It gets a lot better when you live there long enough. You have to learn to adapt.
Spoken like a true asshole. It is a well known fact that you are an outspoken advocate for the rights of Pan-Sexual Americans and other like-minded sentients. You’re not fooling anybody, which side do you really sway?
Bite Me
A little hostile tonight, are we? If you died today and went to heaven, what would God say to you?
You wanna beer?
Good answer. You’ll need a drink after hearing this. A recent poll from the Fall 2005 School of Business graduating class revealed that no one likes you. In fact, you only had 5 votes for people that liked you and I’m pretty sure they didn’t understand the poll because they were foreign. One student was quoted as saying,”C_ is a f*%@ing douchbag. That caffeine slut’s term as Real Estate Club president will forever be a stain on this once hallowed institution.” Strangely enough, that was a response from a Chinese kid that voted in favor of you. Your response?
I don’t think that poll is accurate at all.
Well, it is. Statisitics never lie. Don’t dodge the question.
What kind of interview is this?
Fine. We’ll move forward. What would you rather take, a punch in the face from Ivan Drago or a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris? Because both are going to suck really bad.
Probably Ivan Drago because he doesn’t really exist.
Tell that to Apollo Creed.
What was the other option again?
Nevermind, I’ll ask the next question. Some members from the online and facebook community have said that you might be the next Donald Trump. What do you think of that?
I’d say they are right. Damn Straight.
I was kidding, no one actually said that about you, you arrogant bastard.
Fuck Off
What’s that smell?
Your mom goes to college.
Well, I think this interview went really great. We got a glimpse of the man behind the myth that is C_. Thank you for your time and good night.
5 comments:
Well I must say this was one of the most thought provoking and hard-hitting interviews I've ever been a part of. Except for the fact the interviewer's phone sucked and he was laughing so hard I couldn't understand half the questions; but none the less, Bravo! To the question about the recent poll I've just one thing to say, Ben, you're not Chinese! Also, to a certain someone, please don't take my response to a certain question the wrong way (if you ever read this)- I meant adapt my perception of Des Moines. I had a bad outlook on the area b4 I got here or came across you, I wasn't referring to you in any way. It looks pretty bad though huh? Also, I'm sticking with my answer of Ivan Drago - did anyone ever mop the floor with Norris for 15 rounds?
Any follow-up questions?
LOL Cody, you're funny. Ben, you're funnier. Let's do lunch.
What a creative interview- What would I do without Ben's brainlitter page...hilarious! Sounds like Cody met a special someone in Des Moines...ooooh.
Chicago awaits for visits!
Admitt Cody is not as cool as Joey =)
Cody likes boys!!!
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