The correct answer to the question
Is it acceptable for a guy to use smiley faces, winks, exclamation points, etc in a text message?
is… Yes. Within reason.
To illustrate my point, I’ll use a real life example based off a series of exchanges between me and this girl I met last Halloween. I met her at The Pub and she was dressed up as Rainbow Brite, so going forward, she will be called, you guessed it, Rainbow Brite.
What happened was I just kind of bullshitted with Rainbow Brite a little on Halloween and nothing happened but then I ran into her a few weeks later while she was bartending at the Essen Haus. We exchanged phone numbers and it’s been an exciting game of cat and mouse ever since. And by “exciting” I actually mean “tepid” but I’ve been busy lately and don’t even get me started on the November Rule.
One night, Rainbow Brite texted me out of the blue to see if I was downtown to meet up for a drink. I responded with Hey! yadda yadda yadda. I think using Hey! as an opener is a perfectly acceptable way to greet someone you are actually excited to hear from or from someone you just haven’t heard from awhile or from someone you don’t normally correspond with via the text messaging.
Another time when I was hanging out at the Essen Haus, she had a shot of Jager sent to our table. I didn’t get a chance to thank her for it so I texted her when I left the bar Thx for the shot, I owe u one! The exclamation point usage in this scenario is questionable but I still think it worked well given the context.
Later that night, she texted me to ask me what I was doing at the Essen Haus that night. I texted her back saying I was meeting up with friends at the Come Back Inn (a different bar that is connected to the Essen Haus) and that I just popped in to see my fave fraulein :) FYI they make all the waitresses wear lederhosen to go with the German theme of the bar.
Anyways, I thought that text was MONEY. Plus I finally got to apply the two semesters of German classes I took in high school to try and pick up chicks. About time!
I suppose I could have texted her and said just popped in to see my fave fraulein. You see, I am trying to create a candor with you that is light and airy. I am joking and flirting with you and a fun time is being had by all. but I figured the smiley face could say that and more and it wouldn’t have taken 20 minutes to type in.
My whole point here is that unless you’re some kind of James Dean character, leaning up against a wall with your arms crossed, smoking a cigarette and exuding a devil-may-care demeanor, then, no, using emoticons is NOT going to help your image. In fact, if you are that guy, you probably shouldn’t be text messaging at all, unless you just text blank spaces to people, the electronic equivalent of the indifference head nod.
But, if you’re anybody else in the world, why wouldn’t you choose to express yourself a little bit? Since 85% of communication between people is done through body language, doesn’t it make sense to take some liberties with emoticons and slang in that fragile remaining 15% in order to make your text message understandable? To me, if you took all of the examples I mentioned above and used periods in place of everything else, the message would sound like it was being narrated by Stephen Hawking.
On the other hand, you don’t want to sound like a 13 year-old teeny bopper, texting her girlfriend about seeing her crush at Abercrombie the other day (OMG!!! im in luv!!! CML!!!) so I say find a balance that makes you comfortable with your masculinity and stick with it.
Sure he's the most brilliant physicist of all time, but that doesn't mean I want to sound like him when I'm trying to score a date for Saturday night.
25 comments:
Apparently in your 2 years of German class they didn't teach you that women wear dirndls and not lederhosen, jackass.
If you don't believe me, look it up in your gut:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirndl
Your lack of knowledge on traditional German historical costumes might have something to do with your lack of success with the fraulein in question.
And, no, smiley faces and exclamation points are not acceptible in text messages unless you're a 14 year old girl or a flaming gaywad.
I've come up with almost two pages of reasons why using emoticons can be acceptable but you really trumped me with those 14 year old girl and gaywad remarks.
Very original.
Where did you learn to craft such masterful arguments like that?
who is this pussy that trashes this blog with such weak arguments, at least have the balls to post your name instead of hiding behind anonymous.
Thanks a lot Professor Dictionary. Have any other lame ass semantics arguments you'd like to preface your weak opinions on text messaging with?
I don't know, guys. He makes a good point with the gaywad remark, and his knowledge of 14 year old girls is indisputable. I think Benny here may just be a little intimidated by this guy's obvious mastery of German culture.
Back when I was a youngster we didn't have fancy schmancy text messaging. If we wanted to hit on a girl we would go up and talk to her.
We also didn't have the luxury of all these new-fangled birth control methods you have today, like pulling out.
Pardon the name-calling in my earlier post. When someone so blatantly confuses a tight bodice and lacy blouse for leather pants, I take it personally.
And if I really wanted to insult you I would have called you a pud-wacker.
You keep using smiley faces in text messages, my friend. They seem to have brought you a lot of success with the frauleins thus far. Oh wait...
I recant my earlier statement. Circle gets the square, Professor. Plan your next move wisely Benny
Let's not just see the forest for the trees here, as the saying goes. Just because Wollin can't use text messaging to close the deal with his sweet little fraulein doesn't mean that his theories are bunk. You can't use one example to disprove an entire theory. Plus, professor's continued use of childish (and markedly unclever) name calling is only hurting his argument.
Remember the guy from Good Will Hunting who's at the bar trying to impress the ladies with his smarts, but it turns out Matt Damon is much smarter?
I'm looking at you, professor dictionary.
Besides, no self-respecting person goes to wikipedia for reliable information.
How do ya like them apples?
Listen up Professor Dic,
Whatever is going on between me and Rainbow Brite is far from over. I am going to attempt to rekindle the flame after the Holidays and once that flame is lit, mark my words, the ultimately doomed romance will probably end because of my immaturity, fear of committment, and general stubbornness, and nothing to do with my text messaging.
If anything, the awesome text messaging will probably keep the dream alive for a few magical bonus weeks.
Why don't you go move into some mountains somewhere and stop bothering people?
Sorry Dic, I think Ben just one-upped you. Yahtzee!
Dude, don’t even get me started on the evolution of the market economy in the early colonies! :-)
Sorry if I come off as condescending or pompous. I’m merely trying to illustrate my point, express my love for dirndls, and find an excuse to use the phrase “pud-wacker.”
Bear with me here – this is going to be a long post:
Let’s look at the facts. According to Ben’s own unscientific poll (see comments on last blog post), it appears that women are split down the middle when it comes to opinions on the acceptability of men using smiley faces and exclamation points in text messages.
So let’s say you decide to text a girl and use a smiley face to illustrate your point. You have only a 50% chance that the girl is going to think this is ok. You also have a 50% chance that she’s going to think you’re a big tooty-head and never speak to you again because she’s so turned off by your smiley face usage. Isn’t it better to be prudent and err on the side of caution and not use exclamation points or smiley faces, just in case?
The bigger question is: Do you even want to date the type of girl who thinks that it’s ok for guys to use smiley faces in text messages? That’s probably the type of girl who thinks that men should be in touch with their feelings and express their emotions and watch “Beaches” or “Ghost” with them on a weekly basis while cuddling and crying.
Think about that, my friends.
Talk about your classic game of verbal Stratego. Ben, I think Dic just snuck behind enemy lines with his spy and put an early end to your general. You better hope all those bombs around your flag hold.
well, to professor dic's first comment, the 50/50 chance... well, i think that's true with most anything a guy can do - so me, i just do what i feel like (like note tone in my text messages) and see what happens
As to your second point, I think of a girl that doesn't mind emoticons is a girl that isn't stuck up and too worried about image and therefore not a snotty bitch
The bigger questions one has to ask themselves (me asking myself especially) is why would someone waste their time arguing with someone who consistently turns to name calling to support his/her argument
... to elaborate on my rebuttal to the second point, just imagine a girl that gets a text message with a smiley face and says (snotty like) Oh My God!!! He just put a smiley face on this text message!!! What a total loser, I'm never calling him again!
I'm glad to not receive any return phone calls from that bitch!
Actually, I’ve had a change of heart. Ben, it’s ok for you to use smiley faces and exclamation points in text messages. In fact, I think we should make it a rule that you must use one or the other (but preferably both) in every text message you send to a girl from now on.
You see, that will almost guarantee that you stay single. And even though your friends may claim that they want you to be happily coupled with some gorgeous young bird, they secretly don’t. That is because a healthy successful relationship for Ben will mean the death of this blog.
I’ve seen it a thousand times: Boy writes witty blog. Boy meets Girl. Boy and Girl become serious. Boy stops writing said witty blog because he’s too preoccupied and happy with said Girl. And when your blog ceases, where will we all go for information on fending off the impending zombie invasion?
All great art comes from suffering. So take one for the team, Ben. Use smiley faces. Regale us with your tales of woe, heartbreak, and zombies. The future of the human race may depend on it.
I concede victory to you.
Professor Dic, over and out.
That's what I'm talking about. It's about time someone else brought up the glaring absence of zombie advice from this blog. Maybe you could take a break from writing about such gay stuff as girls and get back to your bread and butter.
It looks like this issue of text messaging will remain one of life’s greatest mysteries, right up there with the construction of Stone Hedge, the secret of the Bermuda Triangle, and why Sinead O’Connor has a hair dryer.
Although I thoroughly enjoyed this jousting of arguments and the allusions to Dirty Work, I’ve got bigger fish to fry. If you want to mock my fantasy world, go right on ahead, I’ve clearly got the support base and the verbal artillery to defend any attack.
One more thing I’d like to point out is the fact that this very blog you are reading right now is littered with exclamation points, capitalized and italicized words, etc, all in the hopes of creating a voice on your computer screen, a voice that hopefully entertains you once in awhile. That is my goal and apparently it worked on you if you’ve been a regular reader since my last zombie posts. Excuse me for trying to add a little life to my text messages as well.
But, I also don’t want to discourage people from commenting, so if you have something to say, good or bad, bring it on I say, including you, Professor Dictionary.
Everybody needs a nemesis you know. Even cute little Maggie Simpson had that baby with the one eyebrow…
Since we appear to have declared an uneasy truce, would this be a bad time to point out that it's "Stonehenge" and not "Stone Hedge."
Apparently your ignorance is not limited to German ethnic costumes, but extends all the way to British Neolithic dolerite monuments as well.
Oh snap!
You're a Neolithic Dolerite...
...and no, I'm not ignorant, I was just excited to place an obscure Saved by the Bell quote from Slater into an argument.
I like to come up with stuff off the top of my head, not navigate the Wikipedia website to sound like a righteous ass.
I'm a neolithic dolerite? That's not what your mom said last night.
Actually, she did mention something about rock hard monuments of unusually large size, but that was in reference to something else.
Oh, and I'll not have you lambasting Wikipedia. It is a bastion of collective wisdom and genius, a true beacon of light in this dark world. Count your lucky stars that it exists and that yours truly was gracious enough to lend his infinite knowledge to the creation of articles on dirndls and Stonehenge.
I'm out of here. I can tell when I'm not wanted.
But let me ask you this - without truth and knowledge what do we have? Chaos, my friends. Maybe you want to live in a world where people who think smiley faces are ok in text messages and mistake dirndls for lederhosen go unchallenged, but I don't.
You haven't seen the last of me...
Good Riddance!
That has got to be the most short-lived concession in the history of blogging. I'd love to hate you, Dichead, but you're just too damn good. But if you're going to be pointing out the inaccuracies of of others' comments, then prepare for some backfire.
Since you started your thought about Stonehenge with "would", you were asking a question, thus the appropriate puncuation would have been the question mark.
Further, you are making some assumptions in your description of Stonehenge that may not rest entirely on scientific fact. With the megalithic ruins themselves were most likely constructed over several hundred years starting in the Middle Neolithic, referring to it as "neolithic dolerites" assumes that the stones themselves were formed only some 5,000 years ago. Dolerite is a volcanic rock which was formed millions of years before the idea of Stonehenge was even conceived. Also, the majority of the monument is made of sarsen stone, so a more accurate description would have been a neolithic sarsen monument, but I digress.
So what is my point? That Prof Dic has compared his sexual abilities to that of a million year old rock. Bravo Professor, bravo.
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