Aaron Vanlieshout is POOR.

Many of you may remember that I kept a journal throughout my nightmarish middle school experience, which is now one of my most prized possessions. Lesser known of my chronicles, but not to be discarded lightly, is my old chemistry notebook from my sophomore year of high school.

This chemistry notebook contains an assortment of useful equations for constructing molecular compounds from the periodic table, exhaustive definitions between covalent and ionic bonds, and a series of crude sketches featuring my future college roommate whom I apparently thought was very poor in high school and lived in a cardboard box.

Here is one such rendition:



The above is the one that really started it all. I think it all started because Aaron used to wear this really dirty and tattered White Sox t-shirt and Zubaz sweatpants in gym class and then it just snowballed from there.

I kind of feel bad about in retrospect since I got to know Aaron’s parents fairly well while we shared a dorm room freshmen year. Had I known they were such nice people, I probably wouldn’t have drawn this:



I guess that one isn’t so bad either. After all, that house is kind of huge in comparison to the people and the sweet ride in the foreground. But then I got grandma involved:



In case you can’t interpret my ultra masculine handwriting in that last box, one of Aaron’s relative’s exclaims, “Oh no, all of the houses are on fire!” but then the other relative casually remarks in a deadpan delivery, “well, it was better than last year.”

Inappropriate. Inappropriate is the word you are looking for. Especially since Grandma looks more like Ms. Pacman than a human being.


But what can you do? Chemistry was boring as hell and I have a short attention span. Things must have REALLY gotten boring for me after my first midterm because the Aaron character in my notebook started getting involved in more elaborate plots such as him becoming imbred and him having an affair with someone named Old Man Brinclhof, which I must have found hysterical back then but has little meaning for me to this day.

Aaron, if you’re reading this, I apologize. I hope I did not make Chemistry 101 with Mr. Kropp a terrible experience for you. To make it up to you, I want to post a more recent picture of you to let the world know what a fine man you have become.



My God, it is just too easy!