The REAL Brett Favre Mini-Camp Controversy

It’s weird that you mention Brett Favre, stranger, because I was just hanging out with him and there is a perfectly good explanation for his erratic behavior.

Our story takes place last Tuesday, once again in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Brett Favre was indeed celebrating the high school graduation of his eldest daughter Brittany. If you could call it a graduation party; it was really just a bunch of folding chairs set up in his garage and Brett Favre’s hunting buddies passing around a bottle of Kessler while Brett Favre spun tales of Packer yore.

He called it a “pre” graduation party but I knew he was just looking for an another excuse to tell us the time he crushed the defending AFC championship Raiders with 399 passing yards and four touchdowns on Monday Night Football in December of 2003. Christmas really did come early that year.

As I sat there entranced with Brett Favre’s epic battle, I glanced over my right shoulder, to see Brittany yawning and tapping her fingernails impatiently on a card table by herself. I decided I would go over and cheer her up.

“Hey, you look visibly bored,” I said to her.

“Yeah, sometimes I get a little annoyed with my Dad, he never pays attention to me,” she pouted.

“Sure Brett Favre does,” I said, but as I was trying to console her I could see Brett Favre was in his own world, still entertaining his friends. I could tell the story was getting good. Even though I couldn’t hear what Brett Favre was saying, I saw him dropping back to pass, then making a throwing motion, followed by wild cheers and everyone giving each other high-fives. It looked like a lot of fun.

“Look, if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can always facebook me or something, I’ll probably get back to you within a few days,” I said in my most compassionate tone of voice, even though I was longingly reaching out to be part of the party again.

Then things got strange. Brittany gave me this huge hug. I hugged her back but she wouldn’t let go. I looked around for help but then something even stranger happened. Instead of seeing Brett Favre go through the motions of another immaculate touchdown, all his buddies disappeared and he was just standing there side-by-side with Deanna Favre. They both smiled at us, then they gave each other this look that said, yep, our work here is done, then Brett Favre put his arm around Deanna and they sauntered off into the house together.

Apparently the “pre” graduation party had just been an elaborate ruse to set me up with his daughter. Brett Favre was then planning us a possum hunting trip for Friday and Saturday, kind of a father/future son-in-law bonding adventure, which was the real reason he wanted to skip mini-camp last weekend.

I told Brett Favre that I was very flattered but I think missing mini camp would send a bad first impression to the new rookies on the team. I also told him we should get Brittany though college first before we made any major commitments towards creating an heir to the Wollin/Favre NFL dynasty.

Brett Favre was disappointed, but ultimately knew in his heart that I was right and there would always be possum to hunt with me in his vast acreage of land but the time for him winning another Super Bowl in Green Bay was limited to the next four or five years.

You know the rest of the story. Brett Favre eventually made it to the first mini-camp and everything went swimmingly. So that is what all this controversy has really been about.

That, AND because Brett Favre really wanted the Packers to sign Randy Moss so he would have some decent receivers to work with this season but Management really screwed him over even though he was willing to give up part of his salary to do so. His frustration and disillusionment with the Packers organization had a MINOR role in the controversy, but I like said, it’s mostly all the stuff I said earlier.



A picture of Peyton Manning, upon receiving word that I would NOT be attending his annual barbeque before the Colts mini-camp last weekend.