Meat Is The New Bread!

Spring is here and the first day that is warm enough to walk around outside shirtless also commemorates the first day of working out season for me. But because of the shitty hours of my job, working out for me now entails eating less, which frankly is not very fun and but then again, neither is lifting weights.

So I’ve been eating like a damn rabbit on the weekdays of late but during the weekends I like to really cut loose in order to keep my sanity. This last weekend I got a little weird, a little wild, and ordered that quaint little delicacy they serve at the venerable KFC, you may know it as the Double Down.

I can’t explain my fascination with this sandwich. I keep thinking of some worldly foreign traveler coming to vacation in the States with an open mind, thinking the rumors can’t be true, Americans can’t all be a bunch of fat asses, and then seeing a commercial on TV promoting strips of bacon and two slices of cheese smothered in mayonnaise special sauce between two fried chicken patties and thinking Oh. My. God.

I’m not one to criticize something before trying it with the exception of shooting heroin and watching The Hills so I bought one on Sunday. Here it is.




I think it would have tasted better had I been wearing a ratty wife beater with barbecue sauce stains on it. You know, to set the mood. But in general, it was greasy, bland, it has scary mystery sauces, it was not that big for five bucks, and the guilt of eating the thing was just not worth the price of admission. Time to go back to the drawing board, Colonel Sanders.

The overall verdict?



While we’re reviewing fast food fare, I also got one of those new mochas at McDonalds. Also not good. This is going to sound crazy but it was just too cold. It hurt my teeth. What the hell is that about? And too sweet. Every sip felt like a freshly poured coca cola on a rusty nail. Starbucks, you got nothing to worry about.

And since I have no shame, I also tried that new western egg white omelette breakfast sandwich at Subway. It was good especially because you can get it on their flatbread, which tastes awesome. The downside is that you are eating at Subway, so you know you are going to be hungry again in about 45 minutes because the content and quality of their food, as we all know, is garbage. Don’t get the hash browns either, they are a joke.

Back to Blogging...Let's form a Poker Club.

Hey. I’m back. Sorry for the delay, I was interviewing for this really sweet job these past few months with this long and painfully drawn out interview process so I temporarily shut down Brain Litter in case some HR people decided to google my ass. I couldn’t take any chances losing out on my dream job because of my fondness for ranting about fast food and shit that happened to me in middle school.

But I don’t think I got the job so sucks for me. Well I don’t know for sure actually but my buddy got invited for a 2nd interview last Friday and I got no call back so I’m only 99% certain that I am totally f’d. I wish they would have the decency to tell me though. If I didn’t know my buddy got a call back, I would still be sweating this thing out.

So now I am stuck being a commercial appraiser for a time being. For those of you who don’t what an appraiser is, we are the culprits behind the economic collapse and subsequent recession we are experiencing right now. You see, we’re the assholes who valued all the real estate out there WAAAAAYYYYYY higher than it ought to be and thus got everyone loans for stuff way beyond the true value of the actual asset.

Well the bankers should have known better than to trust our bullshit reports…and the consumers should have known better for taking out loans they knew they couldn’t handle….and Wall Street had something to do with it too because everybody hates Wall Street. The institution, not the Oliver Stone flick, which rocks. I guess we should all be giving ourselves a big pat on the back for the fine mess we created.

Anyways, I’m back to blogging again so at least I got that going for me. And I’ve got really long eye lashes soooooooo BOOYAH!

Now that I am going to be in Green Bay for the foreseeable future and because summer is almost here, I would like to do the following things regularly:
1. Play Kickball
2. Play Volleyball
3. Play Tennis
4. Play Softball
5. Play Golf
6. Play Disk Golf
7. Play Poker

If anyone has a team out there, I would like to be on it. Or if anyone has interest in forming a team, let me know and I will start one. Or if anyone needs an opponent, l will play you. Seriously, I’d like to get a weekly thing going, summer is short and I like to be outdoors. More to come on these things as I research them.

My top priority is forming a Poker club that meets once a month like my dad’s club that has been meeting regularly for at least 20 years. For those of you interested, keep reading, otherwise, I’ll blog about something funny really soon….like that new Double Down monstrosity at KFC. That thing needed to get blogged about asap.

This was pasted in a mass email I sent out on facebook:

I would like to gauge interest in a potential poker club that meets once a month. I am currently in a club with my dad and his friends and they have a great system that I would like to expand on. Below would be the general guidelines to get the ball rolling. Let me know if you are interested or if you know anyone who might be interested.

• Ideally looking for 8 – 10 dudes that could meet once a month at a set time, say 6:30 to 11:30 the first Thursday of every month unless agreed upon otherwise.

• A different member would host the club every month.

• We would play Hi/Lo limit games that would include Omaha, Hold’ Em, Criss Cross, and other variants of the above games, that way we can accommodate up to 10 people and there would be lots of table action. Most likely we would have 8 people playing because there will likely be no-shows in any given month. No wild card bullshit.

• The stakes would be $1 betting with a 4 raise limit per betting round up until a certain time, say 9:00, and then increase the stakes to an optional $1-2 bet (dealers choice) with a 4 raise limit per betting round. I am open to different stakes if this sounds too high.

• Most pots will average between $15 and $40 dollars (and that would be split between high and low hands)

• With these stakes, the most you could generally lose in a given night is between $50-$100 based on my experience in my dad’s club, conversely that’s what you could generally win too.

• The host will provide food for the group up to $20 (frozen pizza, subs, hot dogs, snacks, whatever), which will be reimbursed that same night through a $1 rake on pots with an odd amount of money in it i.e. if there is a $25 pot, the high hand gets $12, the low hand gets $12, the host gets $1 up to $20. Essentially the winners of the evening pay for the food so you always get a little something for your money.

• BYOB

• That’s basically it, we can discuss more guidelines we want to make for ourselves the first time we play. I will host the first night.