I am at work right now and do not have a lot of time to blog but I just feel it is of the utmost importance to define my stance on the current Brett Favre situation.
For those of you living underneath a rock, the mainstream media has recently picked up a story from Deadspin.com regarding a certain legendary quarterback sending racy text messages and pics to a sideline reporter during said legendary quarterback’s brief stint in New York. My gut reaction was that ESPN was merely using the story to boost ratings for tonights Monday Night Football match up. I figured if the story had real teeth, the media would have jumped on it a long time ago.
But now the NFL is investigating Brett Favre’s conduct and he himself has twice acknowledged the story but refused to comment on it. This non-denial is sort of an admission of guilt in my opinion. Also, the images and sound bites on deadspin are pretty incriminating.
But then it suddenly dawned on me the most plausible scenario. Like Occam’s Razor, it is the simplest answer and therefore the most likely to be correct.
Brett Favre was showing off some dick tricks.
There. You heard it here first. First, it is a common fact that ALL women love a good dick trick and Brett Favre was new to the area so he probably wanted to showcase his other talents in order to build commaderie with the Jets organization. Second, the deadspin article only featured photograph stills, for all we know Brett Favre may have been about to show off “the brain”, “the bulldog”, or possibly “the hamburger”. Third, it explains the non-denial. Because our puritanical society will not allow open, public expression for our universal fondness for genital origami, he was forced to hide rather than embrace the current situation.
I hope you all keep an open mind on this subject going forward. I realize there is small chance that Brett Favre might actually be a perverted old man and is guilty of reckless sexual harassment but the guy also won a Super Bowl for us for God’s sake. Let’s all pretend he was showing off a reverse “windmill” and call it a day, shall we?
5 comments:
Dick tricks are why I married Brett in the first place.
Small chance he is a perverted old man?
He was a perverted young man, he's just kept it going. People our age in 1993-1998 era, or "the Vicodin Age" who were on the scene in Green Bay have lots of stories of perversion involving him and Chewy, and Frankie "bag o' Donuts" Winters.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Except, you know, all the things wrong with that.
Ok Dude, don't make me cite the legal precedent of Boys will be Boys.
The old gunslinger is just having fun out there.
The ol' gunslinger never could keep it holstered fro too long.
I mean his penis.
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