I just picked up the new Zelda game for Wii. It’s the 25th anniversary of the game since it originally debuted for Nintendo in all of its gold plated cartridge glory. It’s probably my favorite video game franchise of all time, Rad Racer excluded, so for the anniversary of the game, I’d like to revisit my greatest Zelda memories.
Fall 1987 – Dad comes home with the first Zelda for me after Mom made me return Double Dragon back to the store because it was too violent. I would have been outraged but Double Dragon was hard as shit and I couldn’t make it past the second level anyways. Stupid Abobo’s…
Summer 1988 – Accidently erased David Dimmer’s entire quest when he was at the 9th dungeon. Apparently I didn’t hold down select or something when I turned off the system. In any case, our friendship today would best be described as strained.
Winter 1991 – Zelda debuts for Super Nintendo. This marks the first incident of me naming my Link character StnkyNts which is the name I’ve used for every Zelda game ever since. And every other game that allows you to name your character. Incidentally, I still think this is hilarious and laugh every time some mystical elder within a game tells me that, I, StnkyNts, am the chosen one.
Deer Hunting Camp 1994 – Started playing Link’s Awakening on the Game Boy while sitting in my deer stand to stave off boredom. Literally saves me from quitting deer hunting because sitting in the woods with nothing to do all day really stinks. I’ve vanquished Ganon more times than I’ve vanquished a whitetail.
1998 – Ocarina of Time comes out for N64. What a time to be alive.
Freshmen Year of College – Dude’s cousin Brian, in the wee hours of the night, high, dungeon music in the background, leaving messages on our answering machine asking how to find missing triforce pieces. During finals week.
2010 - Bought original Zelda on Wii game store after haven’t playing the game in over 10 years. Found every heart container, rupee stash, and secret item without a moment’s hesitation and beat the game in under four hours. Did I mention I forgot my mom’s birthday a couple of years ago?
So now I’ve got new memories to make with Skyward Sword. Being the Wii though, it makes you perform various physical actions, like in order to charge your sword, you have to raise your Wii remote i.e. your sword in the air like you just pulled Excalibur out of the stone. This is cool to do, but to a casual onlooker, like my fiancé for instance, I imagine this doesn’t look cool.
I don’t know where I’m going to find time to play this game without Jess being around. I think somebody is getting a full day spa package for Christmas this year…
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
The Dog Whisperer Part II
Whoops. I almost forgot about following up with this post.
On Saturday morning, I called up Deb the pet psychic. The consultation did not start off well. She forgot I had an appointment with her. Psych! She totally remembered.
So the first thing she did was “channel” into Cheese’s head to hear his thoughts. My guess was that he was thinking about biscuits. But I was wrong. According to Deb, he was worried that we were going to abandon him after the wedding. She then took a few minutes to tell Cheese telepathically that everything was going to be fine.
Then I told her about the blender problem and some other behavioral stuff. Deb again talked to Cheese and then assured me he wasn’t going to act like a doofus anymore when we make smoothies.
Deb then channeled out of Cheese and channeled into Skits. This took several minutes. She said Skits was never going to get along with Cheese because she feels she is like an English nanny and that it is her job to administer discipline to all those who dwell in the household, including Jess and me. I thought to myself, yep, that sounds about right, actually.
I told Deb to tell Skits to stop pissing on Cheese’s bed and to like me more and she said ok, no problem.
The results? About an hour later, if that, Cheese goes berserker on me when I attempted to unload the dishwasher. Good job, Deb.
But I will say this, Skits has not whizzed on Cheese’s bed since. AND, out of nowhere, she started sleeping on my side of the bed for some reason. Did I mention I was allergic to cats? I just wanted her to stop hissing at me, this was too much. Dammit, Deb, you’ve screwed me again.
But seriously, even though there was a lot of nonsense, Deb was a very sweet woman and you could tell she legitimately loves animals and really wanted to help me. She did give me some good, non-magical advice too. I’m going to stop making fun of her now in case she finds about this blog and places a hex on me.
Speaking of loving animals, I hope I kill a deer this weekend! Wish me luck!
On Saturday morning, I called up Deb the pet psychic. The consultation did not start off well. She forgot I had an appointment with her. Psych! She totally remembered.
So the first thing she did was “channel” into Cheese’s head to hear his thoughts. My guess was that he was thinking about biscuits. But I was wrong. According to Deb, he was worried that we were going to abandon him after the wedding. She then took a few minutes to tell Cheese telepathically that everything was going to be fine.
Then I told her about the blender problem and some other behavioral stuff. Deb again talked to Cheese and then assured me he wasn’t going to act like a doofus anymore when we make smoothies.
Deb then channeled out of Cheese and channeled into Skits. This took several minutes. She said Skits was never going to get along with Cheese because she feels she is like an English nanny and that it is her job to administer discipline to all those who dwell in the household, including Jess and me. I thought to myself, yep, that sounds about right, actually.
I told Deb to tell Skits to stop pissing on Cheese’s bed and to like me more and she said ok, no problem.
The results? About an hour later, if that, Cheese goes berserker on me when I attempted to unload the dishwasher. Good job, Deb.
But I will say this, Skits has not whizzed on Cheese’s bed since. AND, out of nowhere, she started sleeping on my side of the bed for some reason. Did I mention I was allergic to cats? I just wanted her to stop hissing at me, this was too much. Dammit, Deb, you’ve screwed me again.
But seriously, even though there was a lot of nonsense, Deb was a very sweet woman and you could tell she legitimately loves animals and really wanted to help me. She did give me some good, non-magical advice too. I’m going to stop making fun of her now in case she finds about this blog and places a hex on me.
Speaking of loving animals, I hope I kill a deer this weekend! Wish me luck!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
The Dog Whisperer
About a year ago, I went to this benefit auction thing and I made a silent bid on a basket of dog stuff like treats and toys and things like that. I made the minimum bid of $25 and I won. Sweet.
It also included a free one-hour session with a dog psychic. BONUS.
Ok, technically it’s called Reiki Energy Healing. The brochure states that it is a non-invasive energy system that yields powerful results in the body, mind, and spirit. Call it what you want, I’m just hoping this lady can get Cheese to stop spazzing out whenever we try to use the blender.
I’ve been sitting on this coupon for over a year, but seriously, this blender situation is getting out of hand. I called the psychic up tonight and set up an appointment for later this weekend.
I asked where we should meet but she said it wouldn’t be necessary because she would be able to communicate with Cheese telepathically over the phone. Talk about efficiency!
My only concern is that the Reiki Energy Healing purportedly works better over a landline phone and we don’t have one. If the Reiki doesn’t work, it will probably be because of that.
I gotta tell ya, I’m getting pretty excited about this. I had to send the psychic some pics and some background info on Cheese tonight so she could prepare. She also requested I send a picture of Skits, Jess’s cat.
Presumably, if we can bang this blender problem out under an hour, we might be able to tackle this other situation on our hands. I’m referring of course to Skits and her love of constantly peeing in the middle of Cheese’s bed at inopportune times. I don’t know though…I don’t know if there’ll be enough time.
It also included a free one-hour session with a dog psychic. BONUS.
Ok, technically it’s called Reiki Energy Healing. The brochure states that it is a non-invasive energy system that yields powerful results in the body, mind, and spirit. Call it what you want, I’m just hoping this lady can get Cheese to stop spazzing out whenever we try to use the blender.
I’ve been sitting on this coupon for over a year, but seriously, this blender situation is getting out of hand. I called the psychic up tonight and set up an appointment for later this weekend.
I asked where we should meet but she said it wouldn’t be necessary because she would be able to communicate with Cheese telepathically over the phone. Talk about efficiency!
My only concern is that the Reiki Energy Healing purportedly works better over a landline phone and we don’t have one. If the Reiki doesn’t work, it will probably be because of that.
I gotta tell ya, I’m getting pretty excited about this. I had to send the psychic some pics and some background info on Cheese tonight so she could prepare. She also requested I send a picture of Skits, Jess’s cat.
Presumably, if we can bang this blender problem out under an hour, we might be able to tackle this other situation on our hands. I’m referring of course to Skits and her love of constantly peeing in the middle of Cheese’s bed at inopportune times. I don’t know though…I don’t know if there’ll be enough time.
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