Whoops. I almost forgot about following up with this post.
On Saturday morning, I called up Deb the pet psychic. The consultation did not start off well. She forgot I had an appointment with her. Psych! She totally remembered.
So the first thing she did was “channel” into Cheese’s head to hear his thoughts. My guess was that he was thinking about biscuits. But I was wrong. According to Deb, he was worried that we were going to abandon him after the wedding. She then took a few minutes to tell Cheese telepathically that everything was going to be fine.
Then I told her about the blender problem and some other behavioral stuff. Deb again talked to Cheese and then assured me he wasn’t going to act like a doofus anymore when we make smoothies.
Deb then channeled out of Cheese and channeled into Skits. This took several minutes. She said Skits was never going to get along with Cheese because she feels she is like an English nanny and that it is her job to administer discipline to all those who dwell in the household, including Jess and me. I thought to myself, yep, that sounds about right, actually.
I told Deb to tell Skits to stop pissing on Cheese’s bed and to like me more and she said ok, no problem.
The results? About an hour later, if that, Cheese goes berserker on me when I attempted to unload the dishwasher. Good job, Deb.
But I will say this, Skits has not whizzed on Cheese’s bed since. AND, out of nowhere, she started sleeping on my side of the bed for some reason. Did I mention I was allergic to cats? I just wanted her to stop hissing at me, this was too much. Dammit, Deb, you’ve screwed me again.
But seriously, even though there was a lot of nonsense, Deb was a very sweet woman and you could tell she legitimately loves animals and really wanted to help me. She did give me some good, non-magical advice too. I’m going to stop making fun of her now in case she finds about this blog and places a hex on me.
Speaking of loving animals, I hope I kill a deer this weekend! Wish me luck!
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