Well I think it hit 60+ degrees today, which only means one thing, the start of spring. There are still a few snow piles out there gone rogue but they should be evaporated by the middle of this week. Good riddance.
Complain all you want about the cold, the thing I hate most about winter is stepping on some invisible microscopic puddle in the middle of the house somewhere and then having to walk around with a slightly wet sock. I hate slightly wet socks more than anything. Even more than I hate Maroon 5, that’s how much I hate them. Of course I could just put on a new pair of socks but like I said, they are usually only slightly wet and it just doesn’t seem like its worth the time and energy to change my current pair. I would rather just complain about the slightly wet socks all day.
My big project this spring is to complete the Cellcom marathon in May. I promise you I will never blog about this marathon again because tales of jogging are boring so I’m just going to post a few random thoughts about it and then never talk about it again.
First, I personally don’t think jogging stories are boring anymore. I am genuinely interested in how many miles you ran, the weather conditions, what part of your body started ailing and at what point of the run did the ailment occur. As my weekend long runs have expanded, I find my body is breaking down in new and interesting ways. At first just my toes hurt, then my calves, but my run last Saturday, my shoulders and neck started aching to my surprise. And the top of my right foot. I love talking about this.
Second, I originally signed up the marathon because I got a free entry for being a Cellcom employee but I also thought it would be a good excuse to lose some weight for the wedding. The problem is that I have become ravenously hungry at pretty much all times. I’m eating an entire pizza as I write this very post. I’ve been running my ass off but have only lost a couple of pounds tops over the last couple of months, its total bullshit. Seriously, don’t train for a long distance event to lose weight, only sign up for a long distance event if you hate your knees.
Third, I really wish I could Prefontaine-up and grow out a sweet, 1970’s moustache but I can’t. I think that’s what’s holding me back right now.
Fourth, I’m scared of chaffing. It hasn’t happened yet but I know its coming. It sounds awful but hopefully it’s like having dead toe nails which I was also scared of but have now come around to embrace. I also hope my nipples don’t start bleeding like Andy from The Office. I don’t think that’s a real thing though, the nipple bleeding.
Fifth, do not watch the film Chariots of Fire to get inspired. It’s weird and boring. However, DO hum the theme song and pretend to cross your driveway in slow motion at the end of a run like you are winning a gold medal in the Olympics. Your neighbors will love this. I call this Chariots of Firing.
Sixth, the best and worst part about running a marathon is that is doesn’t require any athletic ability to run one, just pure stubbornness. You push yourself to your limit on Saturday, your muscles break down, they heal back a little stronger, you can run a bit fit further the next Saturday, repeat, repeat, repeat. You just have to slavishly follow the training schedule and prioritize your weekends around the big run, wreaking total havoc on your social calendar in the process. It’s a high price to pay but also reassuring that, barring any training injuries, you can stubbornly cross that finish line if you just stick to the plan. I hope it’s worth it.
Happy Spring and Happy Chariots of Firing everyone!
6 comments:
The nipples bleeding is definitely a thing. Sorry...
If you wouldn't miss the toilet there won't be "random puddles" around.
To the anonymous nipple bleeder: yep, I googled nipple bleeding and you are indeed correct. That is a thing.
To Jess:
Gross. I never miss the toilet. Never have. Never will.
You've got to change those socks Ben. Wet socks is the #1 cause of sock-holes. That's a fact.
1. Nipple thing is very real, but that has been stated.
2. people who run to lose weight are about the same as people who drink to stay sober. Not going to happen.
maybe a few pounds here and there, but running will slow your metabolism down as you get more efficient, yet you will still get super hungry. That's why so many chubby people who run remain chubby. It'll keep you from gaining weight, but if you want to lose weight for the wedding do something else, and eat right.
Skinny people who are good runners would be skinny even if they didn't run.
C. You should totally do cross-fit, Brah.
Guess who wrote this!
My guess would be Vanlieshout because the tone is condescending and there's stuff about science in it. However, the cross-fit recommendation seems too practical, a typical Dude recommendation would be to build some contraption involving sawed off softballs, rubber bands, and welded metal in order to isolate some muscle I've never heard of and will likely never use.
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