I’m sorry. I
used that attention-grabbing headliner under false pretenses. I can only offer you one measly bloody
nipple.
This particular bloody nipple belongs to my brother, Joey
Wollin. He completed the Green Bay
Marathon on Sunday along with his gf, Corey. Jess completed it too.
Here she is at mile 26, barely breaking a sweat and having the time of
her life apparently.
I’m kidding, she was actually quite delusional at this
point. She has no recollection of
seeing me here when I took this photo even though I was like 5 feet from her
and I was cheering for her and she looked at me. No memory though, she says. I believe it, running that far and long does weird things to
your body and mind.
I did not complete the marathon. I had to drop out around mile 15 because of aching
knee pains, which I later found out was a flared IT band. It’s my own fault. I ran too fast in the beginning of the
course and did not keep up my normal pace.
The problem is that I see these 95-year old dudes just
cruising through the course and then I have to pass them. There’s no way I’m going to let Blue
beat me to the finish. But
then I over exert myself and I paid the price for it. Plus bad genes.
I’m going to blame them too.
So I had to take the walk of shame back to Lambeau where the
finish line was located. Well,
since guys don’t have a walk of shame (walk of fame, what what!) I can only
imagine that is what a walk of shame feels like. It stinks.
I probably could have limped in the rest of way but I
basically did that last year and I didn’t want to jeopardize the 2013 kickball
season. We’ve got a title to
reclaim.
Even though I finished the GB marathon last year, I really
wanted it to be official this year and get a recorded time. This was going to be my last race and
then I was going to put this horse out to stud. But now I have to run another one of these stupid
things. Oh well.
I’ve got to do some foam roller stretches now. Those are fun. Somebody get Steven Spielberg on the
phone, I’ve got an idea for Zero Dark Thirty 2.
4 comments:
Is that Joe and Jess finishing at the same time? Who is that embarassing for?
This coming from the guy that gets winded after a backyard foot race.
What'd I tell you about the ITB syndrome? If nothing, well then you should have asked me about it before.
Last time we foot-raced, your baby ankles wouldn't even hold up for a sprint down the side of the house!
Post a Comment