The Happy Man And His Dump Truck

Remember when I said I wasn’t going to be writing about kid stuff?

I lied! Here is a blog about kid stuff!

Jackson posted up to our bed the other day with a new book in his hand. I had never seen it before but that is not unusual.  We have a cabinet full of books and I have no idea where they come from.  They multiply in there like rabbits when we are not around.

I know this because there are hundreds of books in there and I’ve only bought two children’s book in my entire life.  The first is a Frozen book which I bought to replace a library book that the kids destroyed. 

HOT PARENT TIP:  You can’t show up at the library with a destroyed book and a replacement book from Amazon.  You have to go through their channels proper.  Also, don’t try to Catch Me If You Can the bar code stickers off the destroyed book to paste it on the new book from Amazon.  The library is privy to some sort of super glue of unknown origin that makes this task impossible.  Don’t even bother.

The second book is Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes, which is great.

Spoiler Alert LOL those shoes LMAO those shoes don’t stay white for very long.

Anyways, the book in question is called the The Happy Man and His Dump Truck and it is a re-printed Golden Book originally published in 1950. 

Upon first reading, I thought it was a cute little yarn.  This guy goes around town picking up various farm animals in his truck and then they go joyriding through the countryside.  A great time was had by all.  The End.

When the story was done, Jackson beeled off to God knows where and I went about my business but something didn’t sit right with me.  I paged through the book again and gave it a real close look and then I realized what was so deeply unsettling.  

Look at some of these illustrations.

My takeaway is that the moral of the story is:  If a strange guy offers you a ride in his rusty old truck, then hop right in because you are going to have a great time.

This guy.  

 This. Freakin. Guy.

This guy looks like he is ready to go hang out with Gags and Pennywise back home at the railyard. Is he half clown half hobo?  What’s with the Mom jeans?  Nobody knows. 

Did I mention he tortures the animals?  Look at this shit.  

He opens the tailgate while going top speed down a slippery country road.  This isn’t a yarn, it is a psychological thriller.  Look at that poor dog!

Now I get that this was written back when America Was Great.  Back then you could probably hang out at a railyard for hours, maybe even all day, without getting rape killed.  It was a different time. 

But in 2017, I don’t want my kids thinking it’s cool to jump into trucks with psycho clown hobos. This book belongs in the garbage. 

Unless Jackson wants to read it again.  He can read all the psycho clown hobo stories he wants if it buys me another five minutes of peace and quiet. I better keep it just in case. Entertaining kids is hard.