Ladies: Never Date a Guy who has a Blog

Sorry, everyone.

I did not mean to get on that Brett Favre tangent for so long. The first Brett Favre post was just an expression of my unwavering loyalty to #4 and I was planning on just sitting on the second post until the Pack would win again which they did last week. Who would have thunk they would beat the Falcons in such a decisive victory?

But now that it’s out my system, let’s talk about the date I recently embarked on. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, how did I manage to trick this girl into giving me three hours of her time on a Friday night. A valid question indeed and it’s one that I don’t have an answer to.

Clearly, she hasn’t read my standards which I will recap:

1. The Hallmark Rule
2. The Volleyball Rule
3. The Parthenon Test

I never made the Parthenon Test an official rule before but I’m going to make it a rule now. At some point when I’m about to settle down with a chick, she has to watch me and my friends eat Gyros at bar time after a typical Saturday night on State Street. It will be and always has been, a seriously offensive sight to anyone bearing witness to this spectacle. If she isn’t pissed off about the inevitable cucumber sauce stains from the feeding frenzy and still has the gumption to talk to me or even make eye contact with me the next day, I’m reeling her in.

Back to my date, to make matters worse for the poor soul, she has to deal with what I’m labeling the November Rule which I think is pretty much universal for all guys but I’m just going to clarify. The November Rule is simply the fact that no guy wants to just start seeing a girl right before the holidays because:

1. There is no Christmas present in the world that sends the appropriate message for someone you’ve been kind of seeing for a month.
2. Explanations of your sort-of-girlfriend status to relatives really blows
3. Valentines Day is lurking just around the corner and every guy hates Valentines Day

Yup, right about this time of year, most guys usually call it quits and start making plans for love around Spring time again. Sorry, ladies, that’s just the way the primitive male brain works. I find it humorous that the same minds that can invent interstellar space travel, artificial hearts, and high definition television can stress out on such trivial matters like gift exchanges. Logic is funny.

In any case, this girl is really cute and pretty sharp so I’m going to nix the November Rule and maybe even cut her some slack on my previously mentioned guidelines. Gee, I’m swell!

I'm not going to lie to you though- this girl is REALLY lucky to be dating me. I think I finally understand what my mother has been trying to tell me all these years; I am a really handsome and charming guy. If you can't trust an unbiased opinion like my mother, then who can you trust?

Thanks, Mom. I'll never doubt you again.