Halloween is the New Christmas II

If you came looking for the most critical and objective coverage of Halloween Madison 2006, then you came to the right place. Your ace reporter in the field has gotten the complete scoop in case you missed out on this year’s festivities.

I know some of you must be wondering to yourselves, “Isn’t Ben, like, 25 years old or something? What’s his geriatric ass doing on State Street with all those young college kids? Shouldn’t he have grown out of Halloween by now?”

Well, I have three VERY good reasons why Halloween is still my favorite Holiday:




Okay, let me explain. I had good and honest intentions to just snap pictures of the best and worst costumes on State Street, and maybe some riot coverage if the shit went down. But after a few whiskey and cokes, the camera kind of started doing its own thing. Imagine that!

But here are some of the best costumes I saw this year. They probably vary quite a bit from a normal person’s idea of a great costume, as I tend to judge based on obscurity, randomness, and suffering caused from exposure to the frigid October weather.


I went as Ace Ventura this year. Prior to this picture, I just got done executing a buttonhook fly pattern in super slo-mo.



My hat goes off to you, Teen Wolf. Michael J. Fox would be proud.













I wonder what the Over/Under is on these guys coming out of the closet within the next year. I've got a hundred bucks that says they'll be quitting their jobs and working in beauty salons by the end of the month.





And the Obscurity Award goes to Buster Bluth, complete with hook hand, from Arrested Development. Nice work, buddy.



My brother's rendition of Magnum P.I. even though, personally, I think he looks more like Mike Ditka on vacation playing a round of golf.









This costume reeks of effort.


Award-winning photography right here.


This chick simply can't get over how awesome my costume is.


My biggest beef with Halloween this year is that the stupid $5 cover charge to get on State Street sort of sucked the life out the event. Halloween used to be about debauchery, drunkeness,and getting as rowdy as possible, all in the name of good fun. You certainly wouldn't expose a small child to it. This year there was about half as many people in attendance and half of THOSE people were a bunch of old farts gawking like a bunch of slack-jawed yokels. It's gotten too commercial, mannnnn. I fear the glory days of Halloween Madison may be waning.

Anyhoo, the winner for best Halloween Costume goes to...drum roll please...


Joe Barrie as Robert Goulet. From two years ago. Seriously, Joe, you set a bar that will probably not be beat for quite some time. I thought I made a pretty decent stab at the title last year with my human sudoku puzzle but it still pales in comparison.

Happy Holidays, Everyone!