For instance, I knew I wanted to do something to commemorate the return of Brett Favre so of course I had to rehash the story of us building a tree fort together. But in reality, my goal was to establish Peyton Manning my new arch nemesis right up there with pennies and bachelorette parties by using this photo I got from Google Images:
Here is a great pic of Brett Favre about to head butt Peyton Manning. Er…actually it looks like he might be about to give him a kiss, too. It’s really hard to tell from this vantage point. Better to assume the former.
Unfortunately, I was swamped at work and at home so I got lazy. Expect to see various jabs at that hack of a quarterback in the foreseeable future.
FYI – You can use “swamped at home” interchangeably with “crippling addiction to Guitar Hero.” Same Difference.
While I’m wrapping things up, I have gotten various feedback from people wondering what the false Joe Daniels tale was since they were all so mind-blowingly real. I suppose that was kind of a dick move to leave you hanging high and dry so… the false story is…
Story Number 2, the one about us getting kicked out of the bar on News Years for dropping wicked bombs. Everything about that story was true except exchange “Joe” with “me” and “kicked out” to “almost kicked out.”
Conceptually, I find the idea of getting bounced from a bar for breaking wind absolutely hilarious. It would be worth trying out some night as some kind of weird social experiment. I think it would be tough though. You would have to drop ass with malicious intent, like inserting yourself in the middle of a pack of chicks and then laughingly hysterically once they all go scrambling for fresh air.
If anyone is inspired to try this out, for the love of God, please do us a favor and tape it so you can put it on You Tube or something. That’s all I ask.
Third, I’m going to finish that Great Games I Have Known, because there is some great material I can use there, but I got Valentines Day coming up and a trip to Aspen happening this weekend so it will have to wait.
8 comments:
That picture looks to me like BF just said something really hurtful, and Manning is about to cry. Or maybe I'm just used to seeing Manning cry all the time...
I love how you use Valentine’s Day as an excuse for your lack of upcoming blog entries - as if you’ve found some dirndl-clad fraulein who doesn’t find your clumsy smiley-faced text message advances completely off-putting and vomit-inducing.
Fess up – your Valentine’s Day plans amount to nothing more than curling up in the fetal position and rocking back and forth in the corner of your room while lamenting the fact that you are once again alone on this most holy of couple-celebrating days.
Next thing you’re going to be telling us that this trip to Aspen is to return a briefcase to a scarlet-haired fetching young lass that you met while driving to the airport.
I, for one, plan on spending the entirety of tomorrow engaged in coitus with my most special of ladyfriends. Maybe I’ll even have her call me “Ben” out of pity for you…
I think her name was Samsonite...
We're goin where the beer flows like wine - Aspin.
Prof dic, my suggestion to you is before you make a poor attempt to destroy Ben's self esteem, I would work on knowing the facts. I, (shamefully? maybe?) absolutely adore the clumsy smiley-faced text message advances. And although he was in some sort of "position" in the corner of his room last night.,I can assure you that it was not rocking back and forth in the fetal position, alone.. it was much more exciting than that. Trust me, I was there. No need to cry pity for Ben. Instead maybe he deserves a big round of applause. And a very guyish slam on the back, and a "way to get back in the game, Ben"
i am really starting to dis-like this prof dic who, by the way, is obviously not spending v-day with a lady as he's obviously of the homo flavor. What self-respecting straight man would call valentines day the "most holy of couple-celebrating days"?
And having your "lady-friend" say Ben's name in the heat of the moment won't be something new for the two of you, will it be now...
What position was it, Ms. Dirndl? The "Cincinatti Bow-tie"? Did he "chili dog" you? Tell me he didn't pull out the "Spider-Man" (for you, Turk).
Knowing Ben, I'm sure it was something weird.
This Cincinatti Bow Tie you speak of.. (tapping my fingers in a very Dr. Evil sort of way) please share your wealth of knowledge about obscene sexual positions.. Ben, I think our lives just got more interesting...
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