Just kidding, it’s pretty good actually. Just wanted to use avatarded in a sentence. This post is actually about Christmas.
Normally, I do not get stressed about family gift giving and family gatherings around Christmas because, being the boy scout that I am, I usually have all my gifts taken care of BEFORE Thanksgiving as to avoid the madness of the malls and because I genuinely enjoy hanging out with my family for our annual Christmas parties due to my uncle’s ability to pour a mean brandy old fashioned sour.
Well this year was different.
I can finally see why people get stressed out this time of year. First off, I’m dealing with new job jitters and long hours that have prevented me from getting my shopping done so I had one narrow window last Saturday to get it all done.
After wandering around Bay Park Square for what seemed like hours, I was getting really frustrated. At one point, I seriously thought to myself, “fuck it, the economy sucks, everybody’s getting a Snuggie this year and that’s that.” I’m not kidding. I was so desperate, I almost bought a gift for my dad at Radioshack. Radioshack!
Did I mention that I started dating someone about two weeks ago? What the hell do you give someone for Christmas that you’ve only dated for two weeks!? The dating Gods are clearly messing with my November rule.
Things were looking grim and I was staring down the barrel of a 4:00 pm matinee time for Avatar 3D so I needed to act fast. In a flash of inspiration and a quick detour to a Packer memorabilia store on Holmgren, I think I covered all my bases and even had time for to load up on goodies before the film started.
On a side note, I give Avatar seven, maybe seven and half thumbs up. The 3D-ness was cool but not the game changer I thought it was going to be and the dialogue was weak. My biggest beef was the 2 hour and 40 minute running time. Inexcusable. Unless you’re returning a ring to Mordor or your name is Martin Scorsese, I don’t want to sit still through your movie if it’s over 2 hours and 10 minutes.
I didn’t always think this way. Back when I was making minimum wage, I used to think a longer running time was an asset rather than a liability. I was getting my money’s worth! Ben Affleck drilling a hole on an asteroid for 2 hours and 30 minutes!? Sign me up for that shit, hell yeah!
Then yesterday, we celebrated Christmas on my Dad’s side of the family. Not a lot to report there actually, I stayed sober this year for some reason and at one point during the Packer game, amidst all the chatter of my relatives catching up, I shit you not, someone make the argument that Wings was the greatest sitcom ever made.
At this point I vowed to never be sober for a Wollin family Christmas party ever again. I never confirmed who actually said the comment and I don’t want to know. I hope it wasn’t my dad. God, tell me it wasn’t my dad!
Merry Christmas everyone!
6 comments:
It was you're dad. Then he through me a pass.
All right, I wrote that comment poorly on purpose. Where the hell is Grammar Rodeo?
I think he is participating in a truth telling contest, two towns over.
How dare you Ben! As a fellow Green Bay resident, I take great offense to your Wings bashing. Where would Green Bay's greatest and most talented renaissance man, Tony Shalhoub, be without Wings? Well, to be fair, he'd probably still be rich and famous. I mean let's be honest, the man was destined for greatness from birth. But still, his role in Wings has left a legacy for all Green Bay residents to admire. Whoever made the remark should be proud, and frankly commended for their bravery and good taste in sitcoms with native Green Bay actors. /wings rant
I'll tip my hat to Monk but he still gets trumped from Willem Defoe who hails from Appleton. The man was in Speed 2. He also yelled out this immortal line, "It was a fire fight!!!"
They forgot that it's supposed to be about the grammar.
Post a Comment