Redonk squared is what this is. But enough about the dismal state of Hoverboard technology. I’d like to focus on some of my favorite movies and games from when I was kid and how things actually panned out now that its 2010 and I am technically an adult.
1. Demolition Man
According to this vision of the future, violence is eradicated, we’re all going to be wiping our asses using the three shell system, and everybody is constantly eating at Taco Bell. With the exception of the violence eradication and the three shell ass wiping system, I’d say this vision constitutes a pretty accurate reality for me. On the weekends, at least.
2. Crystalis
I don’t know much about this video game that was released for original Nintendo except that Joe Barrie loves it because it projected we would all be living on floating castles by 1998.
Not that this has anything to do with the future but I would love to see the plot in Bad Dudes come to fruition where the President of the United States is kidnapped by ninjas and two dudes wearing colored tank tops have to save him.
3. Starship Troopers, Avatar, Etc.
I find it really distracting when any film depicts future armies on distant planets still using stupid bullets in combat. Like anybody actually believes we won’t be shooting laser beams at this point. Who’s really going to be believe that we have the technology to travel at light speed to galaxies millions of miles away but we’re still using gun powder to blast a tiny bit of metal as a projectile to kill things. Total bullshit.
Just a side note, anyone going to see Avatar should keep their eyes peeled for an Avatar that looks exactly like Adrian Peterson. Try to guess which one. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
4. Escape from New York
This one came true ahead of schedule. This 1981 film projected that Kurt Russel would be a total badass in a reality set in 1997 and lo and behold it was actually 8 years ahead of its time. I don’t think I need to remind anyone reading this blog that Tango and Cash was released in 1989.
5. Mad Max and Road Warrior
The Mad Max movies were about societies in constant battle over the possession of oil. Man, were they ever off the target! That’s about as crazy as Robocop projecting the future of Detroit as a cesspool of urban decay!
6. Total Recall
Where are the chicks with three boobs!? I think this worth restating. Where are the chicks with three boobs!?
Merry New Year Everyone!
2 comments:
How does the three shell system work? The idea is disgusting!
"he doesn't know how the 3 shells work!"
Rob Schneider was born to say those words.
Post a Comment