Okay, finally got my shit together for the last part of this post.
8. It’s So On - Yeah! You actually found someone that can actually tolerate your exclusive company. Woo hoo!
9. L – Bombs – You are in a relationship where you are hurling I Love You's left and right. One might make a case to have a separate category for dropping L- Bombs in public.
10. Farts and Burps – The relationship has been elevated to dropping ass and belching in each other’s company and neither party being embarrassed about it.
11. Buying a Pet Together – In other words, you are damn close to being engaged. Damn close. Just one more test which brings me to…
12. Dutch Ovening – Not only are you farting and burping in front of each other but you are now farting and burping in bed and trapping your significant other under the sheets until they agree to marry you. Ask the Dude’s dad about this method. It works.
13. Engaged But Today’s My Bachelor Party– This should be a temporary one day status update as a last ditch effort to let your hot, opposite sex friends know they could have one last crack at your junk.
14. Married – I think here would be a good place to insert Mike Myer’s immortal line from Wayne’s World: “Garth, marriage is a form of punishment in some countries.” Funny stuff.
15. Married Tiger Woods Style – You are married but still down to fuck around or as I like to say DTF.
16. Married with Children – Not only a solid category but also a sitcom I’d like to see back on Fox.
17. Widowed – NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
18. Widowed – YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Well I think that pretty describes any possible relationship status you could be in. I dare you to come up with more. You can’t because I just named them all.
Let’s get it done, Zuckerman, I know you have the resources to pull it off. Don’t make me get that Tom asshole from Myspace to beat you down.
3 comments:
The dutch oven was when I knew it was meant to be.
I shit you not, Dude's dad said those exact same words. Well according to the Dude at least. I wasn't actually present when Dude's dad was dutch ovening his mom.
I m pretty sure that my dad himself told you that.
Why would I have given you any sort of useful information when we were roommates?
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