I’m sure you probably already knew that. But what I bet you DIDN’T know is that sack tapping amongst teenagers is on the rise. Don’t believe this me? Check it.
Injuries for "sack-tapping" on the rise, Doctors say.
I’ve got a lot to say on the subject of sack tapping.
First, sack tapping is a time honored tradition right up there with atomic wedgies, pitching somebody’s tricep-area arm fat to leave a big bruise, and getting bubble gum mashed into your hair and periodically having your pads thrown out of a backseat window on North Road while driving to football practice. These ancient rituals are a proven method to prepare boys for the real world.
Second, if you can think of a better way to punish the loser of a round of hacky sack then I would heh heh heh certainly like to hear it.
Third, don’t call it “groin-punching” because that makes it sound lame and it takes away all the fun. Acceptable names besides sack tapping are as follows: sack attacking, sack slapping, testicle tapping, nut knocking, roshambo, cup checks, or goosing (if getting sack attacked from behind).
Fourth, the article is bunk. If anything, instances of sack tapping are dangerously low. The accompanying pie chart in the article is a perfect illustration. Almost 70% of urologists are NOT reporting sack tappings. That is scary. What are these quacks doing if they are not treating sack attacks. Pulverizing Kidney stones!? Yeah right.
Fifth, there are positive signs that instances of sack tapping may turn around in the foreseeable future. I have extrapolated the emergency room data mentioned in the article between 2007 and 2009. The average increase year over year is 21% which should get us to healthy amount of sack tappings by 2030, God willing.
Sixth, this has nothing to do with the article but I found a wallet last night on the sidewalk downtown and I hoping someone would claim it. I took a picture and it’s posted below, you just have to scroll down because there is something wrong with my Google Blogger. The page breaks are all messed up…
BAM! Got you, sucker! You know what to do next…
4 comments:
Best Pearl Harbor ever - Dan Pallex on Andy Trudell
That one made G tell us that "This Nadding or Go-Nadding or whatever you're doing has to stop"
Ben why are you looking at articles on MSNBC.com? Are you some sort of pinko democrat now?
I get most of my national news from MSN and Slate.com which is weird because Slate is super liberal but they swear in their news articles and I like that. I think I also like the idea of learning information from the enemy, it feels more like spying than obtaining information.
Its funny that people think the truth has a liberal bias. Its just the truth.
But remember, there's two kinds of truth. There's the "Truth" (nods head affirmatively). And the truth (shakes head in a negative way).
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