Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Roundabouts: When People Stop Acting Polite…and Start Getting Real

Roundabouts. Believe it or not, I see the utility in these God forsaken things and I am actually learning to like them. At first I thought it was just because I thought it was hilarious to yell, “Look, kids! Big Ben!” every time I entered one but even after the novelty of that wore off, I still find myself liking them.

I know I know, the audacity! What is liberal-leaning Ben going to support next…High Speed Rail from Madison to Milwaukee!?

Not likely. Don’t get me started on passenger rail in Wisconsin, that’s not why we’re here today.

Roundabouts are the new wild west of the roadways. In the past 6 months, I’ve seen three roundabouts get constructed between my work and home so I’ve gotten quite astute at observing the nuances of these things. There are three basic approaches to a roundabout.

1.) No Holds Barred

These people typically drive an SUV or truck and chuckle at the idea of yielding before entering a roundabout. Yielding is for pussies, they think. So is signaling. Think of a bully or any asshole you knew in High School and I guarantee they take the No Holds Barred approach to roundabouting.

2.) Normal-Style

Slower than No Holds Barred, occasionally yielding, but still no signaling.

3.) Yearning of the 4-Way

There are plenty of people that yearn for the golden days of the 4-Way stop sign and these people gots to go. You mostly see them in front of you during rush hour. They are the ones that make a complete stop because they see another car coming from 3 miles away. Then we have to sit there for five minutes because there is inevitably a procession of cars going No Holds Barred style next.

When you eventually get through said roundabout, it is almost automatic that you will get stuck behind this same person going 50 mph down Highway 41 in the left lane and preventing you from passing, further exasperating your patience. At least they signal though.

My point here is that you have to be AGGRESSIVE out there, people. Be a man, take what is yours! The whole idea of roundabouts is to prevent the waste of energy from stopping and starting your vehicle, so look ahead and punch that gas, let the other guy slow down, do whatever it takes to prevent outright stopping and for the love of God, signal when you exit the roundabout so others have a chance to punch in there. Together we can make roundabouts work.

Well maybe not the roundabout in East De Pere by the bridge, that one is a real boondoggle. The new one on Ashland and the exit of Highway 41 though…that one is inspired.

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