That’s bad news for me but good news for my blog readers because now that I got nothing to hide, I can start dishing about all the goofy stuff chicks do compared to dudes. Like excessive laundry.
What is the deal with the laundry, ladies? Based on the laundry usage in our household, I suspect that Jess can’t wear an outfit for more than half a day before it is considered too soiled to wear in public. Barring a half day worn shirt, there’s always a blanket or a towel or some random coat needing to be washed right away.
Only got one or two things that are dirty? That’s OK, you don’t need to wait to do a whole load. Girls LOVE running the washing machine for just a couple of things or less. It’s their specialty.
I wish I was being sarcastic but last night, Cheese breathed on Jess’s shirt and she told me the shirt was unsalvageable and needed to be, you guessed it, washed right away. In her defense, Cheese does have really bad breath, but still.
And I’m not just picking on Jess. I won’t name names but one time in Madison, I was living with Joe Daniels and this other girl and their dog Hercules and this girl constantly did laundry too. I know because she would often do laundry in the middle of the night and my bedroom was next to the utility room. My favorite was when it was jeans cleaning day or in my case, jeans cleaning night. I find the sound of metal buttons on dryer cylinders soothing.
I admit this is some low hanging fruit I’m picking here. I wish Jess had some goofier habits or she tried to change who I am fundamentally with hilarious consequences once she moved in but the transition has been very smooth and the cramping of my swinging bachelor pad lifestyle has been minimal so far.
In fact, the feminizing of my place has been so minimal, I could probably jam the really girly things in a closet on Saturday and continue the ruse with my family that if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, I would still go to heaven.
But then I wouldn’t have anything to blog about and I really wanted to post this picture I found in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.
Kintzler is giving Lucroy a textbook high five – Van Lieshout style. A Van Lieshout style high five is when you act like you’re going to give someone a real high five but then you creepily, gently rub the other person’s palm with the tips of your clammy fingers until the other person is grossed out and can’t handle it any more.
9 comments:
Ok...I do do a lot of laundry. But do you remember the way Joey was when we all lived together! I mean come on you boys never showered. The night laundry all had to do with the fact that I could sneak some of the boys cloths out of there rooms when they were sleeping that had been stinking up the joint! I only had that chance to sneak into bedrooms and throw it in the wash. Not to mention I like to clean a lot and I always would get blamed( Andy Copley) for throwing out...get this six month old mayo. Women like things that smell good. I bet if you combined the perfume that Jess and I both have you could open a perfume store. I ALSO go by the rule if i wore it once it has to washed!
Abs, I wasn't talking about you, it was somebody else, GOD!!!
Ben...do you want me to remind Abbey about the white tshirts???
Yes I do wash things after wearing them once, especially the clothes I wore to the gym. Take notes Ben, it is not okay to sweat profusely at the gym in the same red hooded-cutoff-sleeves-sweatshirt and then continue to wear the same sweatshirt every day after that without washing it.
Oh and clearly the Brewers aren't looking at each other's elbows when they high five, because it is a proven fact that you will not mess up a high five when looking at each other's elbows.
I am awesome at high-fives most of the time. Funny thing is I just looked at that and knew where you were going without reading the rest.
Another topic: How much Girl-hair do you find yourself cleaning up, and is it comparable to Andy-hair?
I too live with a lady, and the amount of hair I find day to day is staggering.
In our house, either the floor is so filthy that any article of clothing that touches it needs to be immediately washed, or Abbey just really hates folding clothes that have been on the ground. I'm leaning towards the latter, but only because I know how much she cleans.
Cause god knows I'm not doing it! Am I right guys?
I was going to save the hair everywhere phenomenon for a different post. That and the age-old ever raging war on toilet seats being left up. All subjects ripe for blogging.
Hey, its not just my hair! Its also dog hair, cat hair, and Ben's hair (and I'm never sure what body part that it came from).
I still can't get over the editorial decision at MJS to use that particular picture. Out of all the pics they probably had available to capture the joy of a hard fought away victory after getting swept by the Nats, the failed high-five is the best they could come up with? No wonder the newspaper industry is dying...
Women be shoppin!
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