The Milwaukee Brewers are Awesome and Girl That Played With Fire Sort-of Reviewed

Now that Yovani Gallardo single-handedly delivered the Brewers first win this season and got them back on track to sweep the World Series, it is now safe to talk about the not-so-great Opening Day.

Monday was not great. It was pretty frigid outside for tailgating and our seats were in the Loge section in a location that did not allow viewing of the brand-new, very cool scoreboard. The worst part though was the congestion. It was the 2nd highest attendance ever in the new stadium which meant the bathroom lines were horrendous.

Normally, I’m no stranger to an impossibly long wait for a urinal (I’ve been to Lambeau Field after all) but Miller Park is not equipped to handle to crowd of +46,000. I missed the 5th and 6th innings waiting to use the pisser. People were getting irate. I thought a riot was going to break out when some people started entering through the exit doors to butt in line. I’m pretty sure they were closet Cubs fans. In any case, the general mood was palpable, there was no joy in that lavatory to say the least.

Of course the zeitgeist of the Section 222 Men's Room got to me and I got pee shy when it was finally my turn to go. I had been holding 5 high lifes in my bladder since the opening pitch and there I stood frozen like Prince Fielder on a 0-2 count with the winning run on third base. When is THAT guy gonna show up and start belting some dingers?

I digress.

Usually when I get pee shy, I try to clear my mind by thinking of a waterfall located in a mysterious wooded glen but I just couldn’t mentally find that magical place with 10 dudes breathing down my neck. My 25 minute wait for the urinal ended up a colossal failure. Then Saito gave up two solo home runs and things went from bad to worse.

But we won now finally so now I am in a much better mood. I’ve also relieved my bladder numerous times since Monday; all subsequent trips have been successful in case you are wondering and I know you are.

Which brings me to my next segment, my review of The Girl That Played With Fire. Warning: Spoilers coming up.

It was pretty good. I actually liked it better than the first one but only after my friend, Comrade Dmitry, pointed out that there was in fact, a zombie at the end of the book. I didn’t put two and two together at first but at the end of the book Salander gets shot in the head and buried in a shallow grave. She awakes from her coma, rises from the grave, and wrecks havoc in the nearby farmhouse in a bloody rampage. If that ain’t a zombie ending, I don’t know what is. At first I thought that ending was lame and implausible but now I love it. Thanks, Comrade.