Crazy Target Lady

I started watching TV again, last night to be exact. I didn’t want to take any chances viewing any more commercials with that Crazy Target Lady, who has been giving me night terrors since last week. I don’t know where the ad wizards at Target found this woman or why they selected her to be the face of their Black Friday promotions but rest assured, they will NOT be getting my business any time soon on the off chance that I might run into this woman at their store. I feel like she would have no problem shoving a shiv into my side while making a bee-line at a bargain priced, off-brand flat screen.

Honestly, they need to make a horror movie starring the Crazy Target Lady. Does it take any imagination to envision the camera pulling back in any one of those commercials, and seeing a bunch of people chained to various torture devices along the walls in her house, like in a scene from Hostel? Eli Roth should be all over this. They could call the movie…wait for it…Black Friday. This movie writes itself.

I’m kidding of course. Not about being afraid of the Crazy Target Lady or Black Friday being a really good idea for a horror movie. But we did go shopping at Target and the mall that Friday night when all of the diehard Black Fridayers cleared out and left us to pick through all that commerce carnage. The night was uneventful but there was a tinge of fear and excitement in the air knowing Crazy Target Lady might be lurking behind that stack of $9.95 electric griddles…



Freddy Krueger ain't got shit on this chick.