One Space Two Space Rehashed

Last week, I posted in my Facebook status about two spaces versus one space when typing sentences in a document and let me tell you, it really got me thinking about blogging again.  That post got a LOT of traction, it came scarily close to surpassing the announcement of the birth of my twins. 

It is clear that people are very passionate about this topic.  I’m pro two-space and I’m not ashamed to admit it.  I don’t want to rehash this subject and reopen old wounds but suffice to say, I think I nailed it on the head when I commented that two spaces are luxurious space cushions to give your eyes a rest between next sentences.  Mic drop.  Discussion over.

I ran into Vang and Kyle Anderson last Friday at Golomski’s induction ceremony and they told me the one space two space debate would have made a good post for Brain Droppings.  I laughed so hard because Vang called it Brain Droppings. 

In his defense, that name is WAY better than Brain Litter.

But they are not incorrect.  I had a good premise and a great one-liner.  There would have been a paragraph about two space usage being the demarcation line between Millennial and Non-Millennial.   Throw some filler sentences in there and you got yourself a kickass blog post for the week.  It was a missed opportunity.

For whatever reason, I’m very proud of the space cushions line.  It could be a top 10 and that’s ultimately what Brain Litter was all about, to have a top 10 etched on my tombstone someday to record these jokes for posterity.  My other favorites are:

1.      “These Peter Jackson cigarettes taste like Frodo’s asshole” (Inside joke, you had to be there)

2.     “Don’t worry, it’s just a matter of time before the McRib comes back around to, once again, rear its ugly head” (Again, you had to be there)

3.     The space cushions thing above

I don’t know about the next seven.  Maybe etch that map I made of where all the cool kids sat in middle school?  That was a pretty great bit.  I don’t know.  Fine, we’ll call that number four.

The reason I stopped writing in 2014 is because I thought I was getting repetitive and I didn’t want to turn into a Dave Barry dad-joke machine about kids and being married.  If there is one thing I know, it is that people don’t want blog posts about families and stuff.  They want dick and fart jokes, observational humor, and stories about being single and the sexual misfires that go along with being single (see Brain Litter 2005 - 2009).

I can deliver on the first two premises but sadly, I can no longer deliver on the third.  I am firing away on all cylinders.  I’m dangerous! 

Anyways, I am going to keep hacking away at Brain Litter again until I get a true Top 10.  I‘ll try not to get into too much Dad humor but no promises. 

Thanks for reading!