I know I am not the sole individual having this same thought. Like most children, we were all raised to believe that the by the year 2000, we were going to be traveling in flying cars, people would be living in colonies on the moon, video games where you had to use your hands would be considered childish, and more importantly, every kid would have their own recreational hoverboard.
Sure, fine, okay, maybe I have seen the 1989 smash hit Back to the Future II one too many times. But in my mind, that was just wishful thinking. My REAL vision of the future was actually inspired on that crappy Disney ride at the Epcot Center that I was forced to ride on because Space Mountain was under repair. I was as bitter then as I am now about this whole situation.
I daresay the status of our current hoverboard technology is no where close to where it needs to be for mass production. When I was kid, I thought by 2006 we would be rolling out 5th or 6th generational hoverboards that were FINALLY capable of going over water. Now we’ll be lucky to even see a working prototype by the next decade. This is completely unacceptable.
I propose that we restore the former Soviet Union in all of its Communist glory and then challenge them to a new arms race to create the most awesome hoverboard known to man. A worthy cause like this will no doubt unite even the most jaded Republicans and Democrats, which will in turn, inspire confidence in the American people and jumpstart the economy once and for all. It’s win win for everybody because even if you are not totally gung ho for creating the ultimate hoverboard, then surely you can get behind fighting the communists again.
Plus we’ll get to beat the Commies again at Hockey in the 2010 Winter Olympics. Who doesn’t want to see that?
Waiting for my very own hoverboard would be a lot easier if I could get a pair of those Nikes.
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