Let's Talk About Rogaine

So the obvious topic for tonight’s post is last night’s Vikings loss to the Saints and the possible last game of the great Brett Favre but I’m just not at a place, either emotionally or spiritually, to talk about it right now so I will maybe save that for a later time.

For a change, I will you let you decide tonight’s blog from the following categories: Flaming bags of dog poo and the human response or male pattern baldness.

Well I could write a book about the former so let’s just get into the latter.

I started a Rogaine regime about three weeks ago.

Now why I on earth would I admit to something like that to the online community, you ask? Well besides the fact that my online community only consists of like five people, I actually find it better to readily admit to these types of things as opposed to bottling it up the letting the shame fester inside of me.

I used the same rationale when I was on match.com a few years ago. A lot of people feel guilty and are embarrassed to be dating people on the interwebs but while I was a subscriber, I told everybody and their grandmother about how great it was instead of getting caught on it and having to go on the defensive about it later.

Anyways, back to the Rogaine. Truth be told, I think I have a pretty great head of hair. With the exception of this crazy cowlick that my barber always bitches about, my hair has treated me very well over the years. See example below.


Favorite pic of all time, no joke. It always makes me smile and long for a can of burger light.

But my real fear stems from this nugget of truth I gleaned from Mr. Kitsemble’s biology class freshmen year of high school. We were learning about genetics and he said that hair loss is completely hereditary. If your dad is bald, and your mother’s dad is bald, then you are sure as fuck going to be bald. Then he went off on some shit about rabbits but that’s beside the point.

I don’t know why but I believe him. And heredity is not on my side.

I tried to convince myself otherwise. I thought to myself that maybe the bald gene will skip me just like the gene that gives you blue eyes or the gene that makes you good at sports but I just can’t take the risk.

Now my game plan has always been to age gracefully but I am NOT going to be attractive bald man. Don’t get me wrong, some people can pull off the bald look. Michael Jordan, Bruce Willis, um…Professor X, maybe? Mike Servais would look weird with hair.

Well that’s about it, I think. Receding hairlines suck so I’m making a pre-emptive strike on the war on hair loss.

More on the subject later. Right now I have change into sweat pants and eat an entire gallon of ice cream with a big wooden spoon to cope with my loss from yesterday.


I retract my previous statement...this is my favorite picture of all time. Not exaggerating when I say I laugh my ass off whenever I see this classic from Chemistry class.