My wife started a blog earlier this year and she is very
good at it. If you are wondering if I am
jealous of the Flipping Unbelievable blog, the answer is Not Applicable.
We have very different blogs with very different target
audiences. She traffics in offering
useful information and I do not. If she
gets into the useless information game and becomes irreverent like Brain Litter,
I will consider it an act of war but until then our blogs can co-exist in peaceful
harmony.
But I think she fired off a warning shot with this funny
meme that she invented.
If you don’t recall, I invented the internet meme back in October
2006. Don’t believe me? Check it.
OK OK, so I called them e-cards instead of memes and they
are quite primitive compared to your modern-day internet meme but they are
effectively the same thing. Meme
technology didn’t exist back then to transpose hilarious sentences directly
on to photographs. I had to create those
beauties in PowerPoint, dink around with clunky text boxes, and save them as
crushingly high-memory jpeg files. I bet
that original post took 5 seconds to load up back in the day, which is light
years in internet time.
Long story short, we live in a day and age where if you say
something and believe it is true, then it is true regardless of facts. I invented the internet meme! What a time to be alive!
Babes, if you are going to use my technology against me, I
will have to retaliate with an equally funny original meme of my own. Behold!
Topical! I’m also thinking this would make a great t-shirt conceptually. Surely some hipster would gladly pay 10 bucks
for this shirt after drinking one too many IPAs over there at Hinterland.
Michelle, maybe you could help me out with this? You did a great job helping me with those
Occupy Tipler hoodies I made for my deer camp way back when. Maybe it would be funnier with some sort of Arabic
font? We’ll talk about it later.
This feels like a real solid business opportunity but I have
been known to overestimate the demand for novelty t-shirts that only I think is
funny. I have a dusty old box full of
shirts in the farthest nether regions of our basement to prove it.
The shirts simply say “43,560” across the front, which is
how many square feet are in an acre of land.
It is a real estate joke that I tried to profit from at a big real
estate conference about ten years ago. I
made 100 of them and sold about 10. It
was a colossal mistake.
I would throw them away but the Dan and Kathy in me makes it
physically impossible for me to throw away perfectly functional items no matter
how outdated they are. Those t-shirts will remain in basement storage until the
end of time or until I sell them.
Screw it. I’m digging
them out and putting them for sale again FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY. Sizes come in
medium and large. They are navy blue and
made of 100% cotton. $10 each or 50 for
$15.
GET THEM NOW WHILE THEY LAST!
2 comments:
Ben, you are something I tell ya! Loved every minute of this read. I'll pass on the shirt lol.
The first meme has been fired in the great Wollin war of '17. I can only imagine the scars that Jackson and Addie will endure before civility is returned to their fractured house.
Won't someone please think of the children!
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