Friday, July 22, 2005

Sex and Gyros

I don’t know what’s more gross. The fact that my buddy got on some chick last weekend after about knowing her for about 10 minutes or the fact that this girl messed around with him after he just ate a gyro. Seriously, that’s just wrong.

A gyro is something you eat as a last resort. Nobody in their right mind would eat a heaping pile of lamb meat, onions, and cucumber sauce unless they were a 100% sure they would not be making contact with another member of the opposite sex for at least 24 hours (I usually go 48 to be safe). It’s a forbidden fruit. It always seems like a good idea but you almost always regret it the next day.

In a way though, it’s kind of like that test that Wayne brought up in Waynes World. “If you blow chucks and she’s still there, she’s your, if you spew and she bolts, it was never meant to be.” Classic.

I think it would be a good test to bring a date to the Parthenon for a change. If she still sticks around after watching you shovel all that food… well, half of it getting it in your stomach the other half on your face and hands (has anybody in the history of mankind ever ate a gyro without making a complete mess, I’d like to meet the Greek that thought this would be a good idea), and reeking like onions for the rest of the weekend, then I say hold on to her like the treasure she is.

If you have any doubts after that, there is always the dutch oven test too

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