J Peterman Ideas: Part IV

This J. Peterman idea is taking longer than I thought but I'm going to keep plowing through anyways because I'm stubborn like that. On a positive note, my ridiculous goggle tan is gone, as you'll notice from my new profile picture. You'll also notice that I'm wearing a shirt in this photograph, because I know people will appreciate that.



Shawn's Old Room (Currently my room)
A mouse scurries across the open. He is blissfully unaware that the skeletons that litter his surroundings were once his friends. Why should he worry? For the time being, the predators were gone.

Two Botswanan boa constrictors, the very same kind of boa constrictors that have terrified the pygmie tribes of Western Zimbabwe for generations, have escaped from their glass cell. The whole upstairs is put on lock down like a prison riot at Sing Sing. If the snakes were loose, it was important to keep them as closely contained as possible.

I muster up all of my courage and begin searching for the fearsome reptiles. It was better to go on the offensive than to be ensnared in the deadly embrace of Shawn’s so-called “pets” when I least expect it. I begin my search by checking the recesses underneath my bed.

I coil in horror as the lethal serpents hiss at me, beckoning my doom if I should approach any further. The language of the parseltongue is ever so subtle, yet excruciatingly terrifying. I yell for back up. Shawn came to my rescue and promptly retrieved the slithering assailants.

I was safe for the time being. I wish I could say the same for the mouse.