First order of business: More people that look like other people.
Watching the Super Bowl last weekend, I noticed a glaring resemblance between the NFL’s luckiest quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, and my hero Jim Helpert from my new favorite show The Office. Weird.
And before Dingeldein extracts his revenge on me for my expose on him looking like Antonio Freemen and Turk, I’m going on the offensive by revealing some incriminating photos of people that kind of look like myself. Unlike Brett Favre, some people actually DO think I look like Pacy from Dawson’s Creek and Eric Foreman from That 70’s Show. Personally, I don’t think the Foreman similarities are really there unless I’m two weeks past due for a haircut but that does tend to happen to me quite a bit.
Now for some Plugs:
I’d like to give a shout out to comedian Nick Mortensen for re-claiming his title of Funniest Person in Madison last December. He actually hails from Green Bay so you know he’s got to be funny in order to win this prestigious award without meeting the most basic eligibility requirements of actually being from Madison. Plus he refers to Su Doku in his bit and everybody loves Su Doku. Can’t wait to see you next year, Nick.
I’d also like to give a shout out to my second favorite wrestler of all time, “The Genuine Article” Chris Jordan for his Jackpot Jackpot Jackpot maneuver that is so nice, you have to say it thrice. My first favorite wrestler of all time, the Iron Yuppie, is unavailable for comment.
The last shout out goes to my English Lecturer from last fall for publishing my paper on her website about the time in high school when me and a bunch of my buddies broke into Lambeau Field to play a game of football. It’s one of my favorite memories so I’m just happy to be able to preserve it. It still needs a little work though.
A few more thoughts:
I got my Fusion Razor and I think I figured out why it is named the Fusion. It’s because the scientists at Gillette literally needed to harness the raw power of cold fusion in order to create this cutting edge shaving technology, no pun intended. My head almost exploded from pure glee using this device.
But it pales in comparison to the idea I have for the next generation of razors. Get this, not six blades, not seven blades, but ONE multi-purpose blade that does the same function as the five blades. I’m going to scrap that whole battery operated handle idea too because, is it just me, or does combining electricity and sinks filled with water just seem like recipe for disaster? Better yet, we’ll put the single blade on a cheap plastic handle so you can just throw it away when you’re done. I understand this idea is fairly radical so it’ll probably never catch on but what do I know?
Finally, I’m going to Phoenix this week and it’s going to be awesome. I’ll try to come back with a story. In the future, I’ll keep the brain dumping to a minimum.
Another Picture of No-Friends Hercules. I guess he can be KIND of cute when he's not biting feet and shitting all over the house.
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