Main Bathroom
The primary bathroom was once a Spartan marvel of utility and simplicity. That is, until the Siren known as Abbey girl took sole possession of it.
Upon proclaiming the kingdom as her own, she immediately set out to fill every nook and cranny with her cosmetic treasures. Little hand towels and delectable soaps occupied once dormant spaces. It appeared that she had a different hair curler for every day of the week, along with a few extra as spares. Exotic fragrances filled the air, tickling the senses and stimulating the passions of the heart.
Frustration set in, however, when my toiletries were misplaced from their rightful spot. Digging around the shower landscape, I spot my bar of soap and bottle of hair cleanser behind a mountain of feminine lotions and oils that would have made Helen of Troy envious.
Reaching for my bottle of Head & Shoulders, I inadvertently knock over the army of products, spilling their contents along the basin of the tub.
“By the God of Zeus! How much crap do you really need in here, Abbey!?”, I thunder to the Heavens.
The most peculiar, women are, when it comes to bathrooms.
Dining Room
The rain ceaselessly pounded the sides of the house for hours on end. Bored to tears, the fellows and I congregated to assemble a jigsaw puzzle, 500 pieces of mayhem from the classic film, The Empire Strikes Back.
Assembling the cast of motley rebels, the task was all too easy. Luke, Leia, Solo, they all seemed to come alive with each interlocking work of art. Even the nefarious Sith Lord, Darth Vader, with his menacing mask brooding in the backdrop, came together with ease.
But the filler was a different story altogether. The infinite abyss of space and the hulking AT-ST’s in the background created a collage of black and grays that were completely indiscernible from each other. Every remaining fragment of the puzzle seemed to meld together.
We judiciously latched random pieces together. As more and more pieces were assembled, the chore became a rally. We would be triumphant in our goal as order was restored to the galaxy.
But Alas! All hope was lost. Like a bounty hunter trapped in a Sarlac pit, the last piece of the puzzle was gone, never to return.
The wookie would never be complete.
1 comment:
lets think here my dear friend ben... If woman did not have all the bells and jingles for there body. Than it would be another thing that ben could complain about or blog about.
I had to clean that bathroom up ...here is where it was i moved upstairs. A dressor doors that were broken with a tooth
brush with it looked to be wades of pubic hair on it. and flowerd mildewed wallpaper...hey i didn't go to college for intior design for nothing.
This battle must be overtaken i was the women to do it. Now a women has to look her best so ...i do have a plethra of products. but they all have there sexy vibe purpose.
i comprimised my space by having the two bash brothers use the same vaslities as me. Come on there is nothing better than a furry rug to put your feet on when the jackson five need to be dropped off.
all the m akeup and hair stuff live in my room...besides a women has to have options right?
abigail marie-magdaline
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