Wanna know something crazy? Brainlitter.blogspot.com.org has reached the 3000th hit mark. That’s pretty damn good! Granted I switched all of my roommates’ computers to make my blog their homepage so about half my hits last about .5 seconds as they immediately go to Google, so let’s just be conservative at 1000 hits and call it a day.
What I feel the real accomplishment here is that my little forum for groundless rants and irrelevant opinions has gone international. Thanks to my lovely foreign exchange sister Maite from Brazil and a few forwards to her friends, I now have hits from Curtiba (her hometown in Brazil that you’ve probably never heard of but has a population of 1.5 million people) and Argentina. That means I have achieved one of my secondary goals for my blog which was to give foreigners a completely inaccurate portrayal of a typical American.
My PRIMARY goal for Brain Litter is to stave off Brett Favre’s retirement for another 25 years. You’ll thank me when he throws in the towel at 65 years old like the rest of working stiffs.
Something else I found funny was that if you google the names of people I mention in passing, my site comes up within the top ten hits. My buddy David Dimmer, the Gandalf of computers, tells me the reason for this is because I’m linked to his business website (www.fyin.com) and he knows all these little tricks that Google uses in order to bring searches to the most relevant.
Gandalf tried to explain to me the subtle intricacies of this process but I had no idea what the hell he was talking about so I just nodded my head politely and thanked him for the publicity. It was equivalent to Chuck Norris explaining why his roundhouse kick is such an effective deterrent against crime. I am sure they are both fascinating subjects but I just assume leave the jargon to the experts. Ignorance is bliss.
I promise that the next 3000 (1000) hits will be just as exciting as the previous ones. There will be more posts, more pictures, more lists, more in-depth interviews, more action, more suspense, more man-woman-gorilla love triangles, more giant disgusting bugs, and more dinosaur fighting than you’ll be able to handle.
Whoops, I kind of digressed from what I was going to deliver in upcoming posts to more of what I want to see in a sequel to King Kong. My mind wanders like that sometimes.
Anyways, thanks for reading my blog everybody. And, yes, I do realize I am a shameless self-promoter. Hell, it works for Donald Trump…
My roommate Joseph Steven Daniels from Green Bay, Wisconsin put my favorite coffee cup in jello for retribution from the time I put his moped in his bed. This has nothing to do with the post, I just think it's funny as hell.
4 comments:
Gandalf says you are very close; but you aren't linked directly off of Fyin; see you are linked off of DavidDimmer.com which is in turned linked off of Fyin.com.
-Dimmer
There is nothing funny about a moped in a bed. Needless wars have been started over that type of childishness. Coffee mug in jello however, Hilarious!
Wollin
You need to learn to let things go (Like the good old W B). By showing this on your blog you are going to be inline for more harassment. You are going to get it from Altman as well. Did you also know that Bill Bratsky once had sex with a Billy Goat while water skiing - he did not even spill his scotch.
Keep up the Good Work! #4 is GOD
Just a FYI Ben...I tell all my friends, coworkers, ex-husbands, etc to read your stoooopid blog, because it is soooo darn funny. Seriously you are creative and really funny...however, somewhat unsettling! Or a geek...
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